Written by April McNary
The sun isn't awake
but
I am.
Racing to school
to beat the
bell...
leaving my baby asleep,
my kisses
fade
before her eyes
open.
I wasn't there.
A student stops me
in the parking lot.
Tears flood his eyes,
his friend's blood runs cold.
My cluttered arms empty
immediately.
Hours later,
I pick up my baby.
Greeted with
a hurt
face.
An argument erupted
at the
same
time
I emptied my arms.
I wasn't there
to scoop her up
and wipe away
her tears.
I wasn't there.
The lesson
went well.
Eyes were open,
learning was
evident.
Later,
I ask my baby
what she learned.
She replies --
"Nothing, Mama."
I wasn't there.
"I hate this class."
"Why do we have to do this?"
"This is stupid."
"This is a waste of time."
They rush to leave
at the sound
of the final
bell.
The door
locks.
My hands
hold up
my head
as tears
sting my
desk.
"Beautiful Mama!"
"I love you to the moon and back."
"I want to stay with my Mama."
"I want YOU to put me to nap."
Not worthy of
this kind
of love...
because
I wasn't there.