Well...this is it! I have come to my final blog post after a year long goal of writing/blogging something every day. Obviously there were make up posts, but go back and look -- there is a post for every day for the last year! You know, when I first started this blog, I was doing this to model writing. A writer is someone who writes, right? I told my rl txt (Real Text) kids to make daily writing a habit. I included prompts at the end of my posts to encourage their writing. Little did I know the journey I was about to experience. I laughed, I cried, and I even fell asleep mid-post (no lie). I shared the love I have for my daughter, I rediscovered my inner poet who had been dormant since I was 11 years old, and I documented my year in the classroom. I didn't know when I first started this blog that I would be venting/reflecting about a school shooting. I didn't expect a post to take on the form of a poem which would win a poetry contest. And I didn't realize that when you are willing to put your neck out there that people would line up to take a swing at you when your personal views didn't match theirs. This year was an education for sure. I have learned so much this year. It was through my own writing that I was able to reflect on many different things. Most importantly, I started to see myself as a writer again...not just a teacher of writing. I truly walked the walk this year. It wasn't always pretty, but then again, life isn't always pretty. This afternoon I met with a tight group of supportive women in my life: Jenny, Tracey, Autumn, my mom and my daughter. Together we celebrated (by eating, laughing, and talking) the accomplishment of my year of blogging. I love every single one of these ladies. Trisha (in Surprise, AZ), I know you would have been there if you could. Thank you all for your support and love. I KNOW how lucky I am to have each of you in my life. Thank you for being present today. I want Audrey to grow up to have solid relationships with women. I want her to surround herself with loving, supportive, women who are strong and don't need to put others down to lift themselves up. I want Audrey to have people like YOU in her life. I'm glad she was with us at lunch...watching and taking in the dynamics of that group. Thanks again. XO. So, what does the next chapter hold? Well, truthfully, I don't know. I do know that committing to blogging DAILY wasn't necessarily one of the brightest ideas I have ever had (it was really difficult at times!). I would, however, like to continue to write. Maybe something less frequent and more polished. Because I wrote daily, my entries were pretty raw and incredibly unpolished. Writing is a process. I was trying to get down the habit of writing (I never intended to Pulitzer-level write.). Maybe I will blog about books I am reading or movies I have seen. Who knows? I will have to put some thought into this and go from there. Stay tuned as I will keep this link and add to it at some point. I would like to end this goal with a request...dare to take on new goals and challenges. If you never push yourself to new heights how will you ever know what you are capable of? And fear not what others think and say about your journey as your journey is your own. People may weigh in, but at the end of the day, you need to be good with who YOU are. Stay true to yourself...stay true to your voice. Love Always, April McNary While today is Memorial Day, I am choosing to selfishly write about my own memories of this past year of blogging. Tomorrow marks the one year end to my goal to blog (write something, anything) every single day for an entire year. Make no mistake -- make up posts were necessary; however, go back and check and you will find a post for every day of this past year. This was NO easy task. Writing something every day sounds much easier than it turned out to be. Trust me! Also, it wasn't easy to write when you feel like you have nothing to say. This happened quite a bit. Photo: Corbis Images Some things I have learned about blogging for a year: My real friends and supportive family read my posts (and would comment via Facebook) more often than I thought they ever would. I love them for this. I feel like I was able to open a window into my soul for them to see me in a different light. I appreciate my people for reading what I had to say...even when I had nothing to say at all. On the flip side, I learned that some people (maybe even YOU) stalked my blog just to find something to complain about. I had parents of students (even long after these students were no longer my students), co-workers, etc. spend their time finding reasons, within my blog posts, to hate me. To these people I say get a fucking life. This blog was NEVER meant for you. This is who I am, and until you put yourself out there for a year, in an honest and public way, shut up and go find something else to do with your time. If I ever gave you something to talk about (behind my back) you're welcome. PS. I know who you are, and you can rest assure that I don't like you either. I learned that everyday I am learning something new. It was these moments of learning that I tried to blog about. From an observation at the car wash to telling the story of Gabriel, the sweet man who cleans my classroom, I noticed how observant I can be which I hope to pass on to both my daughter and to my students. Observation -- it's a beautiful thing. I learned language is powerful. While I already knew this to be true, I learned this on a more personal level. There was a blog post that warranted THREE visits in one day...all about my cussing in a post. I was told a co-worker (who NEVER said anything to my face) was offended by my language. Again, my blogging was never about offending anyone. My posts were honest and true to who I am. Thus, language is important. Some people are so afraid of language that it cracks me up. Language prudes! Documenting is cool especially when you have a little one. I blogged about my three year old daughter, Audrey, often. She is my life and this was clear if you ever read my posts. I hope to print these for her one day to share with her when she gets older. To capture a year in writing is pretty neat and something I will never regret. I would like to write to her...a year in letters (writing her one letter a month for an entire year). I learned to stand my ground. There were people who suggested I not blog or that I take certain posts down. I never complied. While I understand the reason for some of these comments, I decided to stay true to myself and not back down just because someone thought I should filter myself. It's amazing how often people wanted to censor me in one way or another. Let's suppress voices...because this is historically good...NOT! I learned that some people were taken aback by my honesty...it was as if because I am a teacher, I should not say certain things. Dude, I am a person who happens to be a teacher! I am human. I make mistakes. I do cuss. I am imperfect. If I was ever judged by what I said, I HOPE that EVERY post was read to understand the complete person instead of focusing on one sliver of who I am. Just because I am a teacher doesn't mean I shouldn't have a voice. I am not teaching my students to suppress their voices, so why would I suppress mine? I did some cool shit this year. No lie. I traveled a bit, spoke at a national conference (which I am doing again this year), I won a poetry contest, read some great books, made lasting memories with students, and so much more! I am proud of the year I documented. If you know me on a personal level, you know the year before was a difficult one for me. This year was an upswing kind of year which is evident in what I blogged about. Writing proved to be therapeutic on many levels. Writing taught me to keep my eyes open. It's easy to be a passive participant in your own life...but when you know you will be documenting something each day, you tend to look for the opportunities in the least likely places. This year of blogging has made me see the world differently which I am probably most grateful for. So...tomorrow marks the end of a year long journey. I am actually meeting up with a small group of friends and family who have supported me throughout this journey. It is with them that I will publish my final post. It is with them I will celebrate. I am looking forward to tomorrow! Prompt: When was the last time you accomplished a LONG goal? What was the goal? How long did it take to accomplish? How did you feel when you reached the finish line?
The title of this post sums up the reason why it became a make up post -- Sunday really was a lazy Sunday. I loved laying around the house with my husband and kid as we watched movies from Redbox, slept, and ate. This is all we really did on Sunday. Sometimes, we need to have these Sundays. I forget what it's like to just be without rushing to do anything in particular. During the school year, I work my butt off, and I am constantly busy with accomplishing something. I need to remember to make lazy Sundays more frequent during the school year. I do think I need to allow myself to be lazy from time to time. Must remember this.... Prompt: When was the last time you had a lazy Sunday? What did you do?
I rented a few movies from Redbox yesterday. One was In the Heart of the Sea. We are watching this one right now. This is the story that the novel Moby Dick is based on. I don't know why I find this story so fascinating, but I do. How extraordinary that this whale would follow these men and their ships? Revenge at it's most profound. It's intense, it's raw...it's an adventure. I have never read Moby Dick, nor have I read In the Heart of the Sea, but now I plan to. I was also intrigued by THIS article. There is SO much to read... Photo: Google Images (cdn2.mhpbooks.com)
So yesterday, Friday, I wanted to go to school to clean and organize my classroom. I mean, what else do I do on the first official day of summer? Lame, I know. Anyway, as I was getting out of the shower, my phone rang. It was Audrey's school calling to tell me she had a fever and needed to be picked up. So much for cleaning up my classroom. I went to Target to get Audrey some medicine and some things to help make her feel better. I figured that it was better to run in and out before picking he up so I didn't have to drag her into the store. Poor kid. She was definitely not feeling well. So strange as she had woke up fine. This was not the case when I got to her classroom. So it was home, medicine, food, and some Disney movies to the rescue. While Audrey was on the mend, I was cleaning out my closest. Taking clothes I don't wear and separating into piles -- donate, sell, and trash. I'm surprised by how much I got rid of. Anyway, I was happy that I didn't have to worry about being at work while my baby was not feeling well. It's always difficult to be a working mom...even more so when your baby is sick. This is how I spent my first official day of summer. Prompt: What did you do to get better the last time you were sick? Who took care of you? What did they go out of their way to do for you?
Last year I decided not to give a final exam on the last day of school. I decided this was not how I wanted to end my time with my students (them being silent, taking a test). My students did have two final exams (prior to the final day of school) -- a vocabulary final and one on Othello. Instead of a final on the last day, students were asked to polish something they have written this year and read it out loud to the class. Most opt to read a goodbye letter to their class. These tend to be the most sincere readings. I also write something different for each of my classes to be read aloud. I started ending my year this way last year, and I continued this again this year. I am glad I did. Being able to hear EVERY single voice in that room on the last day is special. I prefer this to silence. We sit in a circle in desks and listen as each person reads their piece. No interruptions...just undivided attention to honor each voice. This year, each class had a special reading in their own way. The class that got me, however, was 7th hour. Most of my classes had a "family" vibe...some more than others. My 7th hour was the most close knit overall. I don't know why this seems to happen. I am the same teacher each hour, but the dynamic of a class is an interesting phenomenon. It didn't take long for me to tear up in 7th hour. Once we got to Claire, many of us listening cried. I wish you all could have been in the room. It was something special. I can't even fully describe this to give the moment the justice it deserves. It was a moment. I am proud to have been their teacher this year. Writing -- it's a powerful thing. Prompt: When was the last time your experienced a special moment in a classroom? Describe what happened.
I didn't want to be so behind so close to my one year mark, but so it goes, I guess. I don't normally cry at graduation, but this year, I did. You see, every year the teachers at my school are required to "work" graduation in some capacity. My job is easy -- I walk out in a black graduation robe and I sit with the graduates. Easy peasy. Photo: Corbis Images This year, I was paying more attention than usual. When I saw the grads walk out, I noticed how many of them looked down. I wanted to yell at them to look up and to capture all that was around them in that moment. But of course, I didn't. I watched instead. Girls, with too high of heels, walking like Frankenstein. Boys, trying to be cool....or at least capture the essence of what they believe to be cool. The speeches were read, applause, applause, applause. Then the calling of the names. One by one, graduates graduate. Each time I heard a familiar name, I clapped, hands high above my head...a tear falling. I am happy they did it. I am a proud teacher in this moment. As we end graduation, teachers form a tunnel that the graduates walk down in the middle of. Mina, a former student, sees me, and runs up to hug me. She thanks me for everything and tells me she loves me. I tell her congratulations and that I love her back. I can't control my tears at this moment. I'm just so proud of her. Graduation...it was a great day. Prompt: When was the last time you attended a graduation? Who graduated? What did you observe?
for our kids (students). Autumn and I concluded our pen pal program for the year...or so we thought. Turns out two of my kids in 7th hour did not receive their letters. After searching her room, Autumn found them! Both exhausted, because this is what the end of the school year brings teachers, we meet up about half way to hand off the two formerly missing letters...we were both in our pajamas by this point. The plan was to swap and go since we will be meeting up next week to plan for the summer writing class we teach together. But we are teachers. We talked. It's what we do. We documented the moment with a picture (we never stepped foot in the bookstore, BTW). I am glad Autumn is my friend. She is good people. Luckily, I made it home in time to put Audrey to sleep. Just another day in the life... Prompt: When was the last time you did something unselfishly for another? What did you do and why? Explain.
As the year comes to an end, there is still much to get done on the teacher's end. I was in a crazy dash to finish responding to journals today. Because I assigned the final journal last Friday, that meant I was pressed for time to get these back to the kids. Working all weekend, I was able to get EVERY journal graded and responded to by today. I also wrote a 1/2 page response to each kid. Insane? Yeah, I know. My mom even spent her first official day of retirement in my classroom to help me out with a few things. She even bought me lunch (I have skipped lunch to work for the last couple of months.). She's pretty awesome. As we left my classroom today, my mom noticed that I only had one bag on me. I said I know! It felt so light (I am known to be a bag lady, taking work home on almost a nightly basis the last few weeks.). I told my mom it felt strange. Grateful the end is near. Well...at least until I start teaching the summer creative writing class at ASU... Prompt: What was the last weight you felt being lifted? Explain.
Last Thursday, when Autumn and I swapped pen pal letters for the final time, we also bought some books. I know...I have a book buying problem! Anyway, one of the books I bought (see picture) is turning out to be the BEST book purchase in a long time. The author, Amy Herman, explains how art can be used to sharpen our visual intelligence. If you have followed this blog at all, you know how much I am into art. I appreciate art. I am not artistic, but that doesn't mean I can't respect the process. I am so engaged by this book. This is the same one I was reading while waiting to get my hair cut yesterday. I can't wait to really sit with this book (without worrying about grading) and enjoy all the knowledge that comes from reading nonfiction. Most people may be surprised to learn how much I love science. It's really about observation. Some people can't see beyond their own nose (which is sad). The average person will stare at a painting for 17 seconds. Seventeen! That's it. That's crazy to me. Think about how much is NOT see in 17 seconds. Anyway, I can't wait to continue reading this book. I already feel I am seeing with new eyes! Learning -- such a cool experience. Prompt: What is the last nonfiction book you read? What made you choose this book? What did you learn from reading this book?
It never fails -- the lady who cuts my hair was late. I always make 8am appointments on Saturday mornings because I made the mistake of making a 9am appointment...I wasn't finished until noon that day. For a hair cut. Just a hair cut. What the heck, right? Well, I went to my appointment on Saturday armed with a new book. I was totally engaged in my book, and I wasn't necessarily in a hurry, so I just patiently waited. My lady finally arrived (8:45am), and she got started. She was unusually quiet. I tried not to look, but I noticed some major bruises on her arms. And a fractured wrist (no more of an explanation was given). I stayed quiet. She cut my hair. I tried not to look in the mirror because I kept seeing the bruises. I hope she is ok. I didn't complain once. I was finished at 10am. I get it. Sometimes we have moments. I wasn't going to be a jerk because I don't know the whole story. I don't know what she was going through before she showed up to work to cut my hair. Wish I was given this kind of respect (from kids, parents, co-workers). Truth is, not everyone is understanding. Truth is you can't see all bruises as some of them are on the heart. Truth is, maybe we should all be a little kinder. Being kind doesn't cost a thing. Sometimes the best thing to say is to say nothing at all. Prompt: When was the last time you were kind? What did you do? How did the recipient respond?
So, last Friday was the last one of the school year. I can't believe how fast the time just seemed to fly by! The kids wrote their final journals for the year. For years, my mom has said I should cut them off sooner with the end of the year so near, but truthfully, I enjoy the ritual of journal writing every Friday. I just did the math and I have read about 4, 950 one-page journal entries this school year! That's insane now that I really look at the number. Most kids have enjoyed the journals, but not all of them appreciated what I was doing by having them write a journal entry a week. Nevertheless, this, along with a final exam of Othello and watching the film (Othello) is how we spent our final Friday together. Photo: Corbis Images Prompt: How did you spend your Friday? Explain.
This afternoon Autumn and I swamped Pen Pal letters for the last time this year. Wow. Was that MORE work than I thought it was going to be. I am convinced that this (the amount of work) is WHY teachers don't seem to commit to pen pal programs anymore. If we could only find an easier way... In any event, we know the return was far worth the hours spent trying to figure it all out. The kids seemed to love this idea and appreciated (for the most part) the process. I can't wait to give the kids their final letters tomorrow in class! Photo: Corbis Images Two of my favorite conversations that came out of this project -- 1. Cursive writing (should cursive be taught in school?) 2. Addressing envelopes (a very small handful of my high school students knew how to do this). Autumn and I have several ideas if we are to attempt this again in the future. For now, a survey to get feedback from our kids... that I need to type...right...now... Prompt: When was the last time you hand wrote a letter? To whom did you write and why?
Today a student approached me with a question. I answered it, and he sat down. I started to think about how much he has grown up this year. I wrote a note on a yellow sticky that read: "See me after class. You are NOT in trouble." and placed this on his desk. When he stayed after class, I told him that I wanted him to know how cool it's been to see him grow up and mature over the course of the year. I asked him if he remembered how much he hated me at the beginning of the year. We laughed. This student and I definitely bumped heads. I told him I was proud of the person he was becoming. I heard a humbleness in his voice I had never heard before as he thanked me. I hugged him and again told him I was proud. Photo: Corbis Images I am a big believer in saying what you mean. I say things with intent and purpose. I know not all people appreciate my honesty, but that's ok. I'm proud to wear my heart on my sleeve. I think doing this allows kids start to see me for who I am and why I push so hard. It was a good moment. Prompt: Describe the last good moment you had with someone you used to bump heads with.
Staying up late (lesson planning) seemed to pay off today. Today I scheduled our writers' workshop to be completed by writing in different locations around our campus. I set the expectations, provided prompts, and we were on our way! Some classes were better behaved than others, but for the most part, the kids were great. They wrote. This idea was not one of my originals. Last summer we did a similar activity during our rl txt Program at ASU. I actually planned that event too (well, created a schedule of locations to visit). It was so fun to be out and about while writing. It's a cool concept for sure. This idea was introduced to us as a "Writing Marathon" in which you go to a location, write, share, and then move on to the next location. Here is a list of where we went today: Location #1: Lunch Tables Location #2: Victor Viking Location #3: Media Center Location #4: Football Field (bleachers) Location #5: The Forrest (right outside McNary’s classroom) Location #6: McNary’s classroom, room 507 It was fun to get out of the classroom. The kids were given prompts that accompanied each location. They taped a list of these prompts into their composition notebooks, so they would have access to ideas if they got "stuck" on what they were writing. Michelle, one of my 6th hour students, said the experience was even "peaceful" which I totally agree. It was peaceful to sit outside and write. I hope the kids enjoyed today's experience as much as I did. Prompt: When is the last time you sat outside and wrote just because you could? What did you write about? Did being outside influence your writing in any way? Explain.
For the record -- I HATE, DESPISE, DETEST, LOATHE... grading late work. It is the absolute worst. Grading period is not fun, but late work....GRR... I DO understand that life happens, but the world doesn't stop in the event of an absence. It just doesn't. I know, to the outsider, it may not seem like a big deal, but grading late work is a pain on so many different levels. It's one thing to grade EVERYTHING at once and quite another to go grade a stack of random late work and then enter it all. It's time-consuming and I don't appreciate my time being wasted. Oh, and late work and absent work equates to the same amount of work on the part of the teacher...if it's not graded in the mass grading it's "late" and a pain to grade. You get me? Well, it's 11:32pm, and I finished grading late work about 10 minutes ago. Grateful this school year is almost over. Prompt: Describe your work ethic? Are you responsible or unreliable? What does this say about you? Explain.
Prompt: What are your summer plans?
Prompt: What was the timeline of your yesterday?
Jason bought the movie Bambi for me YEARS ago. Like well over 5 years ago. But... I had not seen it up until this passed Friday. I had seen the movie when I was a kid, but knowing Bambi's mom dies prevented me from watching it again once Jason had bought it for me. Audrey has a Bambi book and knows we own the movie. She asked if we could watch it. Reluctantly, I watched it with her. Because Bambi's mom's death is an off screen death, I am not sure Audrey fully understood what happened. Audrey knows the mom dies, but the "how" is still unclear, I'm sure. As we watched the movie, we held hands. While this movie is actually very beautiful (visually), it's still so sad. Let's just hope she sticks to the book and doesn't want to watch the movie again... Photo: Pinterest Prompt: Which Disney movie do you find the most upsetting and why?
No, not my own! My mom's! My mom has been in education for over 25 years! Isn't that crazy, amazing? When her name was called (at her district's board meeting this evening) and she accepted the 500 handshakes, I totally teared up. I am so proud of her and incredibly happy for Mama to start this next chapter! The sky is the limit and she still has a lot of work to do. As a kid, I remember seeing my mom in her "teacher" role many times. Now, as a teacher, I better understand that you don't really turn off the "teacher" mode. It stays on...constantly humming in the background. This one time she was making cupcakes...for her students (when such a thing was still allowed). I was like cool! My mom made me cupcakes! She said no, they were for her kids. Baffled, I didn't question this. I remember the days of sorting papers and organizing classrooms. Packing up boxes and moving books. I've been along on some of this ride with her. Over the years I would see kids fall in love with my mom and her teaching...my own kids (students) included! She has this way about her. She's mom. Mom. I am excited for you. This is a new adventure, and I have a feeling it's going to be incredible. I couldn't be more proud to call you my mom...and my first teacher. Happy Retirement! XO, Your daughter Prompt: What are your retirement plans (even if it's a long way off)? Explain.
It's no secret -- today wasn't the best day for me. It didn't start out bad, but someone dumped their stuff on me and somehow made their poor planning my fault. It's cool -- there was only 5 weeks allotted for this assignment, so of COURSE it's my fault when someone isn't prepared on the due date. Whatever. Fast forward to this afternoon. Autumn sends Tracey and me a text about meeting up sometime soon. Immediately, I smile. I adore these girls, and I KNOW this text was meant to happen today. We continue our group chat...add in a FB post about it...and end with a Facetime chat with Tracey and baby Mila. Oh my goodness! Isn't it nice to have wonderful people in your life who seem to make your days better? Tracey and Autumn are those wonderful low maintenance friends who aren't starved for friendship attention but who seem to always reach out at the perfect moment. I am grateful for these ladies in my life. Prompt: What did your last friend group chat consist of?
Things on my mind... Need to type out a rubric and evaluation form for tomorrow Need to go through and delete emails Need to respond to the NY email by the 15th Need to deep clean the laundry room Need to read...many different things Need to start cooking more Need to start working out Need to start taking better care of myself Need to call the doctor again and set up a date for another surgery Need to clean out Audrey's clothes again Need to clean out my clothes Need to finish up this school year But right now -- I need to put my little one to bed. She took an almost three hour name this afternoon, so we will see how long it takes her to go to sleep... Prompt: What is your current "to do" list?
I recently started reading John Boyne's The Boy in the Stripped Pajamas. I have owned this book for several years, but I have yet to read it. On the heels of gearing up for New York this summer for the Holocaust seminar, I have been trying to read more Holocaust related books. I have only read the first 100 pages, but I find the timing (of my reading this novel) odd...eerie even. This is the story about a son of a Nazi officer who befriends a boy on the OTHER side of the fence... You see, last week, Nils, our German foreign exchange student, shared some pictures with all of my classes via a flash drive and a profound experience. Nils went on a field trip to a concentration camp in Germany. He shared a handful of pictures, talking us through the details. These pictures were haunting. Dark. Very dark history. Last Thursday was Holocaust Remembrance Day (May 5th). The day before I had told Nils (in private) that I would be teaching a Holocaust themed writers' workshop. I wanted to know if this would bother him at all. He said no, of course not. At this, I got the courage to ask him how the Holocaust is taught in Germany...or if it is taught at all. He said it is taught in depth. He also explained that while there are Nazis who do still exist in Germany, but they are rare and very few these days. Nils and I had a great conversation. It was enlightening. In the end, I am continue to be inspired by my students. We ALL come to the table with different experiences and we truly do learn from one another. I have the best job in the world. Prompt: What do you know about the Holocaust and the concentration camps? Explain.
I don't know about you, but my Mother's Day was pretty awesome. Low-key and chill -- just the way I like it. This is how it went: Woke up, got ready, and got some coffee. Came home, and picked up the husband and kid for breakfast...well, they took ME out for breakfast (pancakes at Cracker Barrel). Got home and opened presents. Watched Joy (one of the presents from my mom)...and fell asleep while watching it. Woke up and went outside to read...for 3 and 1/2 hours! Came in and read a little more. Went out for a 2nd coffee (that is not sitting in the fridge...not even a 1/4 of the way gone) and soup. Came home...decided I wanted to go out to buy some pants. Went to Ross (left empty-handed) and then went to Old Navy (scored two pair of pants...both on sale!). Stopped by Sprouts for some food. Came home, put food away, and watched a little TV. Got Audrey in the shower and watched Inside Out with her before putting her to sleep. Overall, not too shabby. Prompt: What did you do for your mom today? How did you spend Mother's Day?
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CategoriesArchives
June 2016
AuthorWriter, teacher, and mother of one. Just trying to be the best I can be. I fail daily, but in my failures, there is knowledge and growth. Write along with me if you dare... |